An Open Letter To Ms. T:

Dearest Readers:

The following item is a letter that I composed for a friend with whom I used to debate the idea of God. The subject of religion is a subject with which I have been flirting with and railing against for years. And having come across a line I wrote for an unfinished piece of fiction—“Having reached the farthest point from God, I decided that it was here that I might make my confrontation. I needed only look on the sprawling complications of my past to solidify my resolve and begin”—I thought it might make for an interesting posting.

Dear T:

Often when we speak of religion and life, I leave feeling like there is much more to say. Therefore, in an effort to move our last next conversation beyond what has been said, or said but only in portion, I would like to give you a few more of my thoughts. The form of this message is likely to be muddled, abstract, and incomplete. Nonetheless, I wanted to give you more of my feelings than the little bits we are always throwing each other’s way.

When I speak of religion, I am often speaking of a subject on which, admittedly, I could stand to be better educated. God, religion, and Truth are terms that hold some appeal for me, as I have started in their direction, only to get as far as the door with my bags packed and never pass the threshold. This does make for a substantial amount of luggage left in my way, but cases have other purposes besides bearing possessions.

You may be correct in that we have more in common than I give credit. Thus, for the benefit of shared understanding, I will tell you of those few things in this world to which I put great faith or hold as proof of a grace you might call a creator:

Feeling awed in a the presence of great art

Forgetting myself for a moment in the act of living completely

The comfort of a favorite sweater in the chill of autumn

The taste of fresh French bread

Moving with great ease through a pool filled with warm water

Looking at the hills surrounding Perugia in the spring

That space on a woman’s body between her hipbone and the last low arch of rib

The sight of a happy dog running at speed

Creating and saying an apt phrase at the right moment

Drinking cool water on a hot afternoon

The smell of pine trees in the mountains

A rich voice reading a good line of verse

Listening to the Cowboy Junkies on a cool, late evening in Los Angeles

Watching certain film stars demonstrate what the word “radiant” means

Wrestling with wonder until it becomes interpretation

Believing in the idea of belief even when there is no good evidence

Holding onto the idea of truth even when I don’t think I believe in it

Sending you these lines as a form of communion