The Socialist Republic of Strohs
[An Introduction]
I live in a town with a huge inferiority complex. In the shadows of the big city of Mumm, our larger (twice Strohs population), modern (multiple shopping districts) and sophisticated (a hip downton) neighbor, Strohs is often left with pie on its face and a pain in its groin for its lack of imagination for and embrace of the Industry. In fact, my city council’s decisions to not suckle the nip of commerce, while speaking out against our wars and providing a damn fine recycling program, for the last few decades led many Mummites to cleverly call Strohs “The Socialist Republic of …” in the countless columns they write to the local record of news (actually, another Midwestern edition of the AP). Most Sunday morning editions have a least one letter-to-the-editor that begins, “Well, I thought Strohs could not top themselves, but they have done it again …” or “Can you believe what the Socialist Republic did this week …”
Mumm’s fascination with all things Strohs has always been a sense of pride. But the sneers of Mumm may have seeped into the psyche of Strohs for we now have signs in the southeast corner of town proclaiming it an Official Business Zone, but sadly that business zone closes more doors than it hosts grand openings. But our free-market savior of course has ridden in on the backs of the third world, a giant DamMart has opened up at the edge of our borders. Now, some of the Sunday morning letters start: “Well, finally Strohs is figuring it out …”
But our “relative-we-don’t-talk-about” relationship with Mumm is still deeply rooted. It is not without coincidence that Strohs houses the only two “gentleman’s clubs” in the area, for workers of Strohs and their bosses from Mumm to visit and grope, and we have equal number adult bookstores as Mumm, but hey, at least Strohs does not make them build a protective wall around its perimeter.
Strohs still carries a chip on its shoulder, as the two towns share the areas primary industry: a state university. Yet, Strohs is often forgotten when the University is mentioned (another brick for the chip on our shoulder). Strohs is the usual mix, found in most college towns, of academics and locals, two populations with a constant undercurrent of tension.
Recently, the University sent out an email reminding all students, faculty and employees to be careful at night, as there has been a rash of late-night attacks. Every few years, usually in the summer, we see that tension on display as a few kicks are given out for kicks. Sadly this tension produced a recent story in our edition of the AP that declared the rise in crime is a direct result in a massive influx of “problem” residents from the Metropolitan City a hundred miles away. As Strohs takes in the big city’s rejects, the article proclaimed, a whole host of problems have blanketed the town. The euphemisms of the article are the tragic reminder of the story we do not talk about. Instead, our tiny little burg is now a sociological example of “white flight” as three small towns now circle Strohs and Mumm, complete with gated communities protecting replica houses and the population on their welcome signs is changed each year.
But Strohs keeps finding its way: it is one of handful of municipalities in the state that protects ex-felons and sexual orientation in its Human Rights Ordinance, is home to a mix of DIY record labels, a handful of cool bars and restaurants (but clearly not enough), the best golf course in the area, an ever-growing Independent Media Center, and some of the coolest parks in the Midwest. So, people of Strohs remember the words of the Czech proverb: “A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.”
Part One in the Series
Coming Soon: My Neighbor David
I live in a town with a huge inferiority complex. In the shadows of the big city of Mumm, our larger (twice Strohs population), modern (multiple shopping districts) and sophisticated (a hip downton) neighbor, Strohs is often left with pie on its face and a pain in its groin for its lack of imagination for and embrace of the Industry. In fact, my city council’s decisions to not suckle the nip of commerce, while speaking out against our wars and providing a damn fine recycling program, for the last few decades led many Mummites to cleverly call Strohs “The Socialist Republic of …” in the countless columns they write to the local record of news (actually, another Midwestern edition of the AP). Most Sunday morning editions have a least one letter-to-the-editor that begins, “Well, I thought Strohs could not top themselves, but they have done it again …” or “Can you believe what the Socialist Republic did this week …”
Mumm’s fascination with all things Strohs has always been a sense of pride. But the sneers of Mumm may have seeped into the psyche of Strohs for we now have signs in the southeast corner of town proclaiming it an Official Business Zone, but sadly that business zone closes more doors than it hosts grand openings. But our free-market savior of course has ridden in on the backs of the third world, a giant DamMart has opened up at the edge of our borders. Now, some of the Sunday morning letters start: “Well, finally Strohs is figuring it out …”
But our “relative-we-don’t-talk-about” relationship with Mumm is still deeply rooted. It is not without coincidence that Strohs houses the only two “gentleman’s clubs” in the area, for workers of Strohs and their bosses from Mumm to visit and grope, and we have equal number adult bookstores as Mumm, but hey, at least Strohs does not make them build a protective wall around its perimeter.
Strohs still carries a chip on its shoulder, as the two towns share the areas primary industry: a state university. Yet, Strohs is often forgotten when the University is mentioned (another brick for the chip on our shoulder). Strohs is the usual mix, found in most college towns, of academics and locals, two populations with a constant undercurrent of tension.
Recently, the University sent out an email reminding all students, faculty and employees to be careful at night, as there has been a rash of late-night attacks. Every few years, usually in the summer, we see that tension on display as a few kicks are given out for kicks. Sadly this tension produced a recent story in our edition of the AP that declared the rise in crime is a direct result in a massive influx of “problem” residents from the Metropolitan City a hundred miles away. As Strohs takes in the big city’s rejects, the article proclaimed, a whole host of problems have blanketed the town. The euphemisms of the article are the tragic reminder of the story we do not talk about. Instead, our tiny little burg is now a sociological example of “white flight” as three small towns now circle Strohs and Mumm, complete with gated communities protecting replica houses and the population on their welcome signs is changed each year.
But Strohs keeps finding its way: it is one of handful of municipalities in the state that protects ex-felons and sexual orientation in its Human Rights Ordinance, is home to a mix of DIY record labels, a handful of cool bars and restaurants (but clearly not enough), the best golf course in the area, an ever-growing Independent Media Center, and some of the coolest parks in the Midwest. So, people of Strohs remember the words of the Czech proverb: “A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.”
Part One in the Series
Coming Soon: My Neighbor David
posted by Auditus at 8:20 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home