Letter to a Friend
Hey,
I’ve been thinking about your troubles and they seem related to my previous troubles. The problem is success. Or rather, it’s not so much success as what we imagine success to be. Success for us is a good result followed by a suitable acknowledgement: an “A” in a class; a patient who thanks us for saving her life; a party to celebrate the legislation you just passed through Congress . . .. But what success is not, for us, is a good result followed by the assignment of more responsibility, particularly of jobs not suited to our skills (for me firing people and managing celebrity egos, for you reports about garbage incinerators and talking to the press about lobsters). Sure, that is a tacit acknowledgement that we succeeded. But it’s not the kind of acknowledgement we wanted.
It’s one of the many reasons why I retreated back into academia. In academia there are many beginnings and endings. The beginnings are angst-ridden moments of concern about whether the coming semester will bring success or failure. The endings are moments where success and failure are determined . . . even instructors are graded. And, most importantly, there is closure. In the life I used to lead and that you have just begun, successes and failures are often things beyond your control; the results to be experienced immediately and not dwelled upon. You must move on quickly because the next task was always there in the background, waiting for you to get back to it. In academia we are permitted to savor the successes or wallow in the failures because the results usually occur at the very end of term or in between terms.
As I discovered, you will either adjust to the endless series of successes and failures without break, or find another path. Adjusting does not mean giving up on the possibility of relishing success. Rather it means finding other ways to celebrate success. Instead of looking to others to stop the world for a few moments, you must stop the world yourself and remember to look back on all that you’ve accomplished. I have and you are climbing a mountain, the mountain of success. But as you will discover, this is a mountain without a summit, just a constant rise. Every once in awhile, take your eyes from that place where you keep expecting the top to be, and turn around to see how far you have climbed. Look out upon the world below from the vantage point of your successes, and find a moment now and again to celebrate yourself.
I’ve been thinking about your troubles and they seem related to my previous troubles. The problem is success. Or rather, it’s not so much success as what we imagine success to be. Success for us is a good result followed by a suitable acknowledgement: an “A” in a class; a patient who thanks us for saving her life; a party to celebrate the legislation you just passed through Congress . . .. But what success is not, for us, is a good result followed by the assignment of more responsibility, particularly of jobs not suited to our skills (for me firing people and managing celebrity egos, for you reports about garbage incinerators and talking to the press about lobsters). Sure, that is a tacit acknowledgement that we succeeded. But it’s not the kind of acknowledgement we wanted.
It’s one of the many reasons why I retreated back into academia. In academia there are many beginnings and endings. The beginnings are angst-ridden moments of concern about whether the coming semester will bring success or failure. The endings are moments where success and failure are determined . . . even instructors are graded. And, most importantly, there is closure. In the life I used to lead and that you have just begun, successes and failures are often things beyond your control; the results to be experienced immediately and not dwelled upon. You must move on quickly because the next task was always there in the background, waiting for you to get back to it. In academia we are permitted to savor the successes or wallow in the failures because the results usually occur at the very end of term or in between terms.
As I discovered, you will either adjust to the endless series of successes and failures without break, or find another path. Adjusting does not mean giving up on the possibility of relishing success. Rather it means finding other ways to celebrate success. Instead of looking to others to stop the world for a few moments, you must stop the world yourself and remember to look back on all that you’ve accomplished. I have and you are climbing a mountain, the mountain of success. But as you will discover, this is a mountain without a summit, just a constant rise. Every once in awhile, take your eyes from that place where you keep expecting the top to be, and turn around to see how far you have climbed. Look out upon the world below from the vantage point of your successes, and find a moment now and again to celebrate yourself.
posted by Definer at 3:47 AM
3 Comments:
To whom did you intend this?
rzr
I don't know much about lobsters or incinerators, but I do know that you, Definer, should aim for something bigger than academia.
We need people like you, if this Revolution is going to succeed, you know what I mean?
I've never heard you be quite so open. Dunno for whom you intended this, but be sure you bother to celebrate *yourself* occasionally too.
j
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