Dear Fill-in-the-blank:
As Grace at Snarky Girls has been kind enough to provide those of us at Polyvalence with a target, we return the favor. The following is my sample cover letter:
Addressee: Part of a bill wherein is given the appropriate and technical description of the court in which the bill is filed. Ex. I throw myself upon the mercy of the court of the hiring committee.
Template: Something that serves as a master or pattern from which other similar things can be made. Ex. Enclosed, please find materials that I hope you will find lovely because I find myself in poverty.
Productive Ambiguity: Intentional vagueness. Ex. I am interested in the position you have announced. Simplificatio: The art of simplifying the complex, making an incomprehensible argument comprehensible, explaining the inexplicable. Ex. I hereby sum up my 300 page Ph.d. dissertation in a few sentences. Skotison: Intentional obscurity. Ex. I believe you will find I have the verbiage appropriate to the discursive obfuscation necessary to the privileged nature of a disciplinary field in which semiotic practices require epistemic rigor and thus prevent the subaltern from resisting the paradigmatic qualities of hegemonic capital.
Insecure: unconfident, unsure of yourself, anxious, self-doubting, shaky, unsettled, unfixed, unsustained, unconfirmed, unconvinced, experimental, irresolute, fallible, errable, undemonstrable, untrustworthy, unreliable, slippery, ticklish, precarious, unstable, hesitant, fidgety, tremulous, wavering, vacillating, wobbly, halfhearted, unsubstantial, chancy, speculative. Ex. I am a candidate for the position.
Pleading: To make, deliver, or file any pleading; to conduct the pleadings in a cause. To interpose any pleading in a civil action. More particularly, to deliver in a formal manner the defendant’s answer to the plaintiff’s declaration, complaint or to the indictment, as the case may be. Ex. I’m not that bad.
Closing: Bankruptcy, occlusion, stoppage, blockage, infarction, ebolism, infaret, dead end, caecum, obstruction, constipation. Ex. PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE!
Definer
Addressee: Part of a bill wherein is given the appropriate and technical description of the court in which the bill is filed. Ex. I throw myself upon the mercy of the court of the hiring committee.
Template: Something that serves as a master or pattern from which other similar things can be made. Ex. Enclosed, please find materials that I hope you will find lovely because I find myself in poverty.
Productive Ambiguity: Intentional vagueness. Ex. I am interested in the position you have announced. Simplificatio: The art of simplifying the complex, making an incomprehensible argument comprehensible, explaining the inexplicable. Ex. I hereby sum up my 300 page Ph.d. dissertation in a few sentences. Skotison: Intentional obscurity. Ex. I believe you will find I have the verbiage appropriate to the discursive obfuscation necessary to the privileged nature of a disciplinary field in which semiotic practices require epistemic rigor and thus prevent the subaltern from resisting the paradigmatic qualities of hegemonic capital.
Insecure: unconfident, unsure of yourself, anxious, self-doubting, shaky, unsettled, unfixed, unsustained, unconfirmed, unconvinced, experimental, irresolute, fallible, errable, undemonstrable, untrustworthy, unreliable, slippery, ticklish, precarious, unstable, hesitant, fidgety, tremulous, wavering, vacillating, wobbly, halfhearted, unsubstantial, chancy, speculative. Ex. I am a candidate for the position.
Pleading: To make, deliver, or file any pleading; to conduct the pleadings in a cause. To interpose any pleading in a civil action. More particularly, to deliver in a formal manner the defendant’s answer to the plaintiff’s declaration, complaint or to the indictment, as the case may be. Ex. I’m not that bad.
Closing: Bankruptcy, occlusion, stoppage, blockage, infarction, ebolism, infaret, dead end, caecum, obstruction, constipation. Ex. PLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAASE!
Definer
posted by Definer at 6:45 AM
1 Comments:
How is that little job search going? Brilliantly I'm sure.
take care,
j
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